I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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