This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
