this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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