billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
