Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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