saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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