I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
