Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
