Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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