just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Less talking, more tequila
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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