It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
