Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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