i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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