Tell her she can't have a vagina
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
