I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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