Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
