oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I want to make a zoo with you.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
