I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
