I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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