wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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