My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
