I will die if light touches me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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