BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I could fuck to npr.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
