My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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