He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
