Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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