I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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