The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
