How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
