OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This is my gift to your gina
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
