Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
