***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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