pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
not ubering you a puppy
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