I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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