she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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