I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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