What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
