Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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