She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
