Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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