Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Green mimosas i think yes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
