it was like his penis was on wheels.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
