Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
