dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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