dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
