please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
