i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am one with the molecules
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize