ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
