Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
