I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
do nipples grow back?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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