How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
